Portals

A Travel-Inspired Series of Art Inspirations

“Veliki Prodor” (Big Breakthrough) | Ljubo Dekarina 2003

“It is more difficult to go through a portal if you are real. But I want to tell you it isn’t impossible.”

~ from “Portalmania” by Debbie Urbanski

I planned to start this note with stories of my recent trip to Croatia with the idea of traveling as a portal to another world (I’ll get back to that, I promise). But then I thought of the quote above from Debbie Urbanski’s book, Portalmania (which I recently read thanks to the recommendation of a friend, and is fascinating for many reasons, but particularly for her description of strangely formed and elusive portals—as a metaphor for other things I’ll let you discover on your own—and one’s fear and desire about going through them).

Her idea that reality creates a barrier to other worlds stuck with me. Perhaps that’s the child in me fondly remembering reading “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” for the first time (and imagining portals to fantastical worlds and wanting so badly to make them a part of my own reality). I’m beginning to wonder if maybe I’ve been looking for these magical portals ever since…

What is Reality?

While this is not where I expected to start my story today, I’ll start here anyway.

Yesterday I attended a lecture on how stress affects dementia. While the majority of attendees appeared to be caregivers, it was something else that brought me there.

I often think about this terrible disease, which I suppose is no surprise, as my own family history and fears attune me to the news offering hopes of one breakthrough treatment or another. It is always lingering at the back of my mind as I think of my own future, having experienced its effects on several members of my family - some of whom I’ve watched decline all too closely, and simultaneously, faulting myself for not being close enough. Sometimes I find myself replaying memories of these loved ones - trying to parse out the disease from the person I thought I knew in the memories of my grandmother and father; and then also with the few moments I have with my mother, being cared for in another state, and my memories of the time we had together before we moved her to memory care. It seems so easy to see decline in hindsight. It’s easier to dismiss it, pretending it’s not there, or to get frustrated with the afflicted person, arguing and hurting in a moment created by circumstances outside your control.

One aspect I’ve observed (or at least believe I’ve observed) is how stress seems to accelerate the disease’s progression. When I saw a lecture on the topic of stress and dementia scheduled for a local community center, I decided to drop in on the session, hoping to learn more, to try to understand the relationships and feelings I still struggle to reconcile.

What I didn’t expect to receive from the lecture was a new perspective on reality.

Funnily enough, the lecture was actually more about the overdiagnosis of UTIs in dementia patients and the overprescribing of antibiotics (all good information for many reasons, but not exactly what I was looking for). But the lecture then ended on an interesting note. When asked about working with delusional patients in relation to understanding their stressors, the speaker provided an interesting perspective.

First, it’s important to recognize that their reality is real to them, whether or not it is our reality.

Second, suppose they are rooted in their delusions (meaning they are no longer in a phase of disease progression where the delusions are minor or temporary, and the person can not be guided out of the delusion that is causing the stressor). In that case, you have one of two choices.

You can choose to focus on their feelings and attend to their needs in that way (without accepting the delusion), or you can choose to join their reality.

Is our reality a choice? Do I choose to travel to alter my reality?

I recognize that this is a very loose tie-in to traveling as stepping through a portal, but I always find it fascinating how the ideas churning in our heads seem to tease out related experiences and thoughts from our everyday lives (also known as frequency illusion, which I wrote about in this March 2024 artist note).

Stepping through Portals

In considering the idea of choosing to step into another reality, it became easier for me to recognize the duality of my own traveling experiences. I was simultaneously surrounded by the customs and environment of another culture while tethered to those of my Oregon home. I felt like I had one foot through the portal, with the other lagging behind, making sure I could return when it was time.

(I recognize the ability to have a foot in both worlds via travel is a luxury, even more so in today’s political and economic climate. I am so grateful for this opportunity, while knowing that it is not available to everyone. It’s important to recognize that portals themselves, however, are available in other, more accessible ways every day: via books, music, art, and within our own imaginations. If you are looking for a portal, a good place to find one is at your local public library.)

Paired with the depth of history I was experiencing - whether it was ancient ruins, traditional art practices, landscapes carved by eons of both slow and catastrophic events, or learning languages unfamiliar to me - I felt myself longing to be a part of these new realities, yet always grateful to be able to return home.

These experiences not only augment my current art practices but also spark new and unexpected ideas. As I step into each new world, I see and hear and feel so many things unknown to me, but somehow also familiar.

I hear the greetings of my grandparents in the streets as we walk along the streets of Croatia, and a familiar lone corvid call reaching out for its mate along a barren trail on Crete; I recall the scent of seas familiar to me and the sweetness of fruit ripening in the summer sun; A bright orange globe on the horizon recalls memories of camping on the Oregon Coast, while seagulls floating close by on the wind and air, are always watching for an offering. Graffiti walls, lapping waters, mandalas of thread and stone. They find a home in a curious heart yearning to see, feel, and understand the ways we are tangled together amongst roots that have grown apart.

I long to keep these moments close and recall them with the reverence they are due.

Portals: A Series of Reflections…

I’ll talk about the various portals I discovered this summer in my upcoming Artist Notes and how these experiences mold my creative path.

Split, Croatia; Ethnogrphic Museum; Pag Lace; Agiofarago Beach, Crete; Doors, Crete Museum of Visual Arts; Sea Organ of Zadar; Summer Lake, Oregon; Isle of Pag Olive Tree; Chicago, Illinois

… and Subscriber Rewards!

I will also offer a selection of portal-themed postcards to my paying subscribers with each of the notes in this series. These postcards will showcase my favorite images from my travels, along with hand-stitched details added by me. The last note in the series will also offer a chance to receive a free advance copy of my next book release: a collection of my photo inspirations over the years.

I hope you will enjoy this series as much as I’ve enjoyed collecting the images and art that inspired them.

To finding portals, and bravely stepping into their new realities,

~ Jennifer